


Peace of Mind

by lexosaurus



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: AND GAY, AU, Abuse, Aged-Up Character(s), Dash is adorable, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Original Character(s), swagger bishie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-12-21 10:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11942274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexosaurus/pseuds/lexosaurus
Summary: Danny doesn't deserve more than Jake. He's sure of it. But then of course Dash has to ruin everything.





	1. Chapter 1

_SLAP_

Danny stared intently at the dull hardwood floor, finding its cracks and chips incredibly interesting.

"What did you fucking say to me?" came a sneering voice from above him.

Swallowing thickly as he tried to ignore the way the older male's intimidating voice made him want to lock himself in his bedroom, curl up on his bed, fall asleep, and never wake up, Danny tried to muster as much strength in his words as he could. Unfortunately, all that came out was a quiet shaking, "I'm tired."

The larger presence stepped forward, his hot breath tickling Danny's neck as he whispered, "I don't give a shit." Then, without warning, a tan fist collided with his vision and he fell to the ground.

"I-I'm sorry, Jake," Danny tried to start but was cut off almost immediately.

"You think you're fucking better than me?" Jake's loud voice demanded silence after. Danny held his breath and flinched when Jake repeated, "You think you're better than me? You think you can just do whatever the fuck you want around here?"

"No! I would never-"

"Because you're not. You're fucking pathetic. You think you can just run this apartment and do whatever the fuck you want. You think you can just stomp all over me and take advantage of me. ' _I'm too tired_ ' Hah! You're such a fucking bitch."

Danny's wide blue eyes met harsh brown ones glowering down at him. The eyes of Jake, his boyfriend of two years. Jake's tan Italian hand ran through his curly brown hair and his square jaw began moving again as he continued on. "Since we moved in together a year ago it's been all about you. You're so fucking selfish. You manipulate me by guilting me with your fucking pathetic sob story. You try and make me feel bad for you because you're covered in scars from when you were kidnapped. But guess what? You can't even remember where those came from! How fucking selfish is it to try and make me feel bad for you and help you or some shit when you can't even remember anything? Fucking weak ass."

Danny's gaze dropped to the floor. Jake was right, of course. Not about all of it. Danny did remember where the scars came from, but he would never admit that to anyone. But obviously Jake was right about everything else. He knew it, deep down. How selfish could he be?

Jake snapped him out of his thoughts by grabbing his wrist. With a yelp, Danny was pulled to his feet before being all but thrown into the wall. His head painfully crashed against the dull brown surface and he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt a muscular hand gripping his neck. When he felt courageous enough to peek out behind his thick lashes, large glaring eyes greeted his vision.

"Jake, please-"

"Shut the fuck up, asshole," Jake demanded. Danny could smell the pasta they had earlier from Jake's breath. Danny glanced up, avoiding his boyfriend's glare.

Jake shook his head. "Fuck, Danny. I don't know what to do with you anymore."

"I'm sorry," Danny whispered. Jake's grip only tightened on his neck.

"You're so lucky to have me, Danny. I've been nothing but good to you. Do you think anyone else could stand to listen to your bitching and whining? Do you think anyone else could love your scars like I do? No, I'm the only one who can handle you. You'd best never forget that."

Danny weakly nodded, tears forming in his eyes.

"Good." Jake stepped away from Danny, his grip finally leaving his skin. "Now, come on. Let's go to the bedroom. I think I deserve sex after this shit. Hmm?"

Danny hesitated, his breath catching in his throat. Didn't he learn in school that if he didn't want to have sex he didn't have to? Isn't that why he made the excuse of being tired in the first place? But then again, Jake had been treating him so nicely. Maybe Jake was right. Maybe Danny did need to give this to his boyfriend.

Jake let out an exasperated sigh. "Danny, do I really have to explain everything to you all over again? After everything I do for you, you won't give me a little bit of fun? Stop being a child about this. Really." With that, Jake walked into their bedroom, shutting off the living room light as he shut the bedroom door.

Danny stayed in the darkened living room, his hands rubbing lightly against his bruised neck. Part of him wanted to leave. To run out of the door and never come back. But the bigger part knew Jake was right. Jake deserved him. He deserved this. And Danny was doing no good by delaying the inevitable. He might as well get this over with.

Danny shut the bedroom door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Jake had long since fallen asleep if his unwavering heavy breathing had any indication of that. He was curled up facing away from Danny with the white comforter stretching over a broad, tan shoulder to tickle the bottom of his strong chin. Danny might have thought he looked cute if he could see his face. But Jake rarely slept facing him anymore, and Danny didn't blame him. He couldn't imagine it would please Jake if the first thing he saw every morning was Danny.

Danny never used to have these self-esteem issues. Well not since high school anyways. When he got to college he nervously signed up for a chemistry course. He'd originally wanted to do astrophysics but knew he wouldn't pass as his math grades in high school were dismal at best. Chemistry, though it did require math, it didn't require nearly as much as physics. Plus, Danny picked up quite a few things from his parents, who both had extensive knowledge in the chemistry field.

To the surprise of himself and not so much his sister, he turned out to be pretty good at chemistry. And even better, he found that he really good at the labs. True, he wasn't the top in his chemistry class, in fact his lecture grade was hardly scraping average, (and that was just thanks to his math tutor,) but his lab grade was where he flourished. Danny knew he was always more of a hands-on learner, but he didn't think he was an A-lab-student kind of hands-on learner. And that A in his lab was what kept him afloat among the sea of kids who were weeded out as the semester passed. By the final, the class had dropped from eight hundred and fifty students in the program to just over six hundred and thirty. For second semester chemistry, only four hundred students signed up. Danny was one of them.

As the semesters passed, more and more students dropped out of the program. But not Danny. And before he knew it, he was signing up for other science courses and excelling in those also. His newfound confidence in himself pushed him on until he found himself walking down the graduation aisle holding a diploma for a degree in forensic science. For the first time ever, Danny had felt good. He was proud of himself. He couldn't remember ever feeling that way about himself before. Especially not growing up in Amity park with with his main tormentor Dash shoving him into lockers and walls at every waking moment, constantly reminding him of how much of a loser he was.

And now, here he was again feeling that same way. The way he felt when he was in Amity. The way that Dash and his goons made sure he felt. As he stared up at the ceiling, he wondered if he ever was that great. Sure, he had a great job and a great boyfriend and he never had to worry where his next meal was coming from, but maybe it was dumb to ever believe he was special. To ever believe he was great. He wasn't. He knew it, Jake knew it. Hell, everyone at work knew it. His old confidence was a lie to cover up what an idiot he truly was.

Suffocating under the depression that was his thoughts, Danny glanced over at Jake to ensure he was still sleeping before tiptoeing out of bed and phasing through the wall of their bedroom so as to not wake him up. He wasn't necessarily claustrophobic, but he needed fresh air. He grabbed a hoodie off their couch and threw it on over his head. It was one of his older ones, graying blue ratty hoodie. Perfect.

Transforming into Phantom and turning invisible, Danny phased outside and flew into the night. He didn't have a destination in mind, he didn't think it mattered anyways, he just needed to be away from Jake's apartment for a bit. The cool air felt good on his skin as he glided through the night sky. It was a clear night, and he basked in the calming nature the darkness provided. He wove in and out of the buildings the city provided, without much of a destination in mind. He just wanted to feel...free. Normal. He needed a sense of normalcy. Scanning the area, he found a lit main road which was still lit and bustling with teenagers and adults, all enjoying the weekend night life.

He dropped down into a small ally. After checking to make sure no one was around, he regained visibility and transformed back into Fenton. Phantom was supposed to be "missing" still. No one could see him in his other form here. Danny didn't think that would bother him as much as it did. Phantom was half of him. Though it felt more natural to be Fenton in the human realm than Phantom, it still felt like he was ignoring a huge piece of his life by hiding it. But no one could know, not even Jake. No, especially not Jake. Jake would hate him if he found out.

He walked down the busy street, too lost in his thoughts to notice a bar closing next to him with people spilling out into the street.

"Fenton?" came a voice behind him.

Danny whipped around to find himself face to face with his old tormentor, Dash. Dash had certainly grown up since high school. Physically, at least. He wore a white and blue plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Accompanying the shirt was a pair of clean looking dark blue jeans. His hair was a bit messy, and his face and neck was bright red under his pale skin.

Danny's face paled. "Um..."

"Fuck, man," The blond stumbled over and put a drunken hand on Danny's shoulder. Danny tensed. "Yo man it really is you. Fuck, what are you doing here? Ah shit, Fenton, wait till Kwan hears about this."

Danny casually shrugged Dash's hand off his shoulder. "Yeah it's great talking to you. So I'll be going now-"

"Wait!" Dash grabbed his arm. Danny instinctively yelped and curled his hand into his chest.

Dash gave him a worried look. "Fenton, what are you doing? What, you think this is still high school or something? Look I know I'm drunk but I'm not an asshole-drunk! Come on, man! Let's grab a drink!"

"No, I'm fine," Danny said, desperate to escape the situation. He was at his breaking point for the night.

Dash wasn't having it. "Hold up, I see Kwan." He started waving his large hands out towards the entrance of the bar. "Kwan! Stop flirting and come over here! I found a Fenton!"

He turned back towards Danny, who was still frozen on the spot and all but trembling with fear, and giggled a very manly giggle. "No idea why but all the girls at bars love flirting with Kwan. Maybe it's because he's such a goon." Dash barked a laugh and nearly fell over.

Danny was too preoccupied by giving Dash an incredulous look at his antics to notice the second presence entering their conversation.

"Whoa, easy there," a darker set of large hands lifted Dash up and helped him steady himself. "Jeez, Dash, how much did you have to drink? I swear if you puke in our uber..."

He grinned and turned to look at Danny, who pulled his hood up to hide his face. Dash was too drunk to be able to focus in on his bruises, but not Kwan. Kwan, though his face was flushed, seemed to be much more coherent than his friend. Thankfully, it was dark out. "Fenton? Is that you?"

Danny gave a shaky smile and a pitiful wave.

Kwan grinned in response. "Hey, I didn't know you lived here! It makes sense though. I heard you were into science in college and Boston does have the most science opportunities of any place around. It's actually why we're here! I got into mechanical engineering and Dash decided to tag along cuz why the hell not, you know? So where are you living?"

Though every fiber of Danny's body demanded him to run go leave now, some otherworldly part of him decided to respond with, "Allston."

Kwan smirked. "Rat city, huh?"

Danny shrugged. "It's not so bad really. Plus, you godda start somewhere, right?"

"Damn straight, my man!" Dash slurred, leaning heavily on Kwan's shoulder. "You know what? Kwan's just being a hater. Don't listen to him, man. You do you. Screw the haters. You just...yeah, you feel me?"

Danny blinked in response.

Kwan chuckled slightly. "Alright, I think you've had enough. I'm calling an uber."

Danny's eyebrows scrunched, "Is he...I mean, will he be okay?"

"Yeah," Kwan tapped on his phone. "He'll be hungover in the morning though. I'll have to make him eat some bread or something when we get home." He glanced up at Danny's worried expression. "No, seriously, he'll be fine. We had a busy week and just needed to loosen up tonight. No biggie."

Danny shrugged and glanced away.

"By the way," Kwan slipped his phone back in his pocket. "I don't mean to intrude, but are you good?"

Danny froze, his eyes widening. He barely had the breath to stutter out a choked, "Huh?"

"Your face, Fenton," Kwan sighed.

"What's wrong with his face?" Dash squinted up at Danny's hidden features. "Oh shit, did you get in a fight?"

"It looks fresh," Kwan's eyes narrowed.

"I'm fine," Danny didn't look up from the ground.

"Yeah, that's what everyone says," Kwan rolled his eyes. "What happened?"

Danny picked at a loose string on his hoodie. He was cracking. He knew it. He needed to get out of there.

Finding a sudden rush of defiance and anger, Danny glared up at his two old bullies and spat out, "I'm tired and it's really none of your business. So I'll be going now. Goodbye."

Seething with unknown rage, Danny spun around and started walking back to his apartment. Neither one of the two drunk men tried to stop him. He didn't care. He just needed to get home before Jake noticed. Jake would be worried about him for sure, and he deserved a night of uninterrupted sleep. Danny knew how hard this week Jake had worked. He deserved his rest.

Thinking of Jake left a pang in Danny's chest. He knew Jake didn't mean what he'd said tonight. He was just tired and frustrated. And Danny was being annoying anyways. How could he do that to Jake? How could he provoke him like that? Anyways, Jake was so good to him. Jake always showered him with compliments and kisses. He knew Jake loved him. He knew it. And anyways, Jake wasn't perfect. How could Danny expect him to be? Everyone had their faults. Danny just needed to accept that sometimes Jake snapped and everything would be okay. Once Danny could do that, their relationship would be fixed.

Upon reaching their apartment, Danny floated up to their floor and phased into the living room. He slipped back into their bedroom, took off his hoodie, and slid under the covers of their bed.

Jake shifted in his sleep. He rolled over to face his partner. "Danny?"

"Shhh. I'm sorry, Jake. Go back to sleep."

"Mm..." Jake hummed softly as he wrapped his bare arms around Danny.

Snuggling into his boyfriend, Danny whispered, "I love you."

"Luh you too..." Jake mumbled back, his voice barely a whisper.

Danny smiled. Everything was going to be alright. Besides, him and Jake were perfect for each other. Everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering how I'm updating so fast, it's because I actually already have these chapters written and published on ff. I'm just reuploading them here because I just got this account.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks past with no incident involving Dash or Kwan. Not that Danny expected to run into them anyways. He lived in Allston, which was on the west side of Boston. For all he knew their apartment was in the South End or even up north past Cambridge. Not to say that Boston was a large city like NYC or Vegas, but it was certainly sizable enough to run into someone once and then never see them again.

Since that night, Danny's relationship with Jake had been amazing. Danny woke up the next morning to the sent of bacon and eggs, and immediately when he walked out of their bedroom Jake embraced him in one of the largest hugs he'd given him since they started dating. He apologized for the night before, told Danny how lucky he was to have such an amazing and perfect boyfriend, and then guided him to their small table where a fresh bouquet of flowers awaited him next to a huge plate of his favorite breakfast foods. By the time breakfast was over, the incident from the night before was out of Danny's mind completely. He sat there with a dorky smile on his face, giggling at a story from Jake's office with his dumb coworker.

The rest of that weekend Jake took him on several dates including a walk in the park equipped with a picnic and some great music, a trip to the cinema, and a nice night in full of cuddling and light kisses. Every once in a while he would look into Danny's eyes and murmur, "Shit, Danny. You're so gorgeous," to which Danny would blush furiously and fail to hide a grin. While Danny knew that Jake wasn't perfect, he was certainly loving and caring enough to make up for his mistakes.

Since that weekend, Danny and Jake had settled back into their normal routine. They got up, ate breakfast together, went to work, came home, watched TV together, and went to bed. Things were solid, healthy again. Danny felt comfortable in his apartment, and Jake seemed at ease too.

As a DNA analyst for the BPD, his job entailed running collected DNA evidence from crime scenes and forming profiles based off them. He loved his job, and he was fairly decent at it for a new hire. His job required strict attention to detail, something Danny was usually good at. Usually. Due to a late night movie session with Jake, the phrase "attention to details" were not exactly in Danny's fatigued brain's vernacular. By the time lunch rolled around, Danny was in desperate need of caffeine. _Strong_ caffeine. Although he wasn't an avid coffee drinker, he wasn't opposed to downing one or two every once in a while when his body required the extra boost. Like today.

"Where you headed, Fenton?" asked one of his coworkers, Quinn Harnes. He was Danny's closest friend at work, a recent lab student himself. The boys actually found out they were in the same lab after college, but Quinn was a year ahead so he left for a real job just after Danny arrived at the lab.

Danny gave a tired grin to the tall, freckled brunette. "Out to get some coffee. I'm exhausted."

"Oh, there's a good Starbucks a block away. Past like four Dunkin' Donuts. You know, I really don't understand the Dunks craze around here. Who needs a shitty coffee chain every one-hundred meters? Makes no sense," Quinn ranted.

Danny stifled a laugh. Quinn, like Danny, wasn't from this city. An obvious Californian, Quinn moved across the country to get rid of his "crazy freaking family." Although his family was complex, from what Danny understood everything was relatively fine until his father found out the mother was cheating and, in an act of anger, got drunk and knocked up some other woman looking to desert _her_ husband. A divorce lawyer and two weddings later, Quinn went from being one of three children to one of ten. By the time the war seemed to settle down some, Quinn was already applying to college. He not only was applying to colleges no closer than flying distance from his family, they also had to be on other side of the country. Apparently, his mother hadn't taken the news too well. Their fragile relationship imploded after he left for his first year of school. And while his father seemed to support his decision, Quinn had no desire to return to California after attaining his degree.

"Thanks for the intel, Quinn," Danny gave a small wave and pushed through the glass doors of his building. The bright sun nearly blinded him and he paused, blinking to allow his sensitive eyes to adjust to the bright light. The sky hadn't let up from it's rare, perfect weather streak yet. The sky was cloudless and the temperature was warm enough to not require a jacket, but not _too_ warm where he would be sweating through his work uniform.

He strolled down the wide sidewalk, taking in the mostly-fresh air and watched people bustle about their everyday lives. Cars whizzed past him and a slight breeze tickled his skin. Next to him a street light flipped from red to green and immediately the second car in the line, an expensive black sports car, held down on his horn. A hand appeared in the skylight of the first car and formed a middle finger as it accelerated forward.

Just an average day in the city.

Danny snickered to himself as he crossed the street onto the next block. He sidestepped a group of college kids and, spotting the bright green Starbucks sign, hurried towards the crowded shop.

He opened the door and let the cool, coffee air embrace him. Yes, this is exactly what he needed. The blissful grasp of caffeine to wake up his senses. He stood in line. It was a good thing he gave himself a generous amount of time to get this necessary drink, because Starbucks was packed. It seemed he wasn't the only one with this original, genius line of thinking. He eyed the stressed looking understaffed baristas. He hoped they all got a raise after this shift.

"Hey Fenton!"

Danny froze, his perfect mood shattering to pieces. He turned around slowly to find Kwan Lang waving from the doorway. Sometimes he wondered if the Universe really _was_ out to get him.

Kwan closed the door behind him and stood in line next to Danny. "Hey, Danny! What are the odds of running into you here of all places? What're you up to?"

Danny forced a smile and said, "Just grabbing a coffee on my lunch break. You?"

"I actually just got out of a meeting with some potential investors. I told you I'm in mechanical engineering, right? Yeah, I'm on a team as part of this company that works on prosthetics. We're trying to design this new system that's supposed to work faster than the standard electronic limb. But that kind of thing requires money and you know how _that_ is, so we've been smooching up to big investors for the past month. It's not nearly as exciting as actually _building_ the robotic limb but it's necessary."

Danny blinked, somewhat surprised that Kwan was doing so much with his life. Although he knew that Kwan did do pretty well academically in high school, Kwan acted like such an airhead. It was too easy to forget that deep down, _way_ deep down inside, Kwan was a smart kid.

Danny slowly let out his breath he didn't realize he was holding. Old habits died hard. "Wow, that's pretty cool."

Kwan grinned. "Yeah, it really is." A slight blush tinted his features. He continued, "Sorry, I'm such a nerd about this stuff. Dash makes fun of me all the time about it. Sometimes I just ramble on and on about engineering. It's kinda my life right now I guess."

Danny shrugged. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, what you do really helps a lot of people in need."

They paused their conversation to order. Danny didn't miss the side-glance the cashier gave Kwan after he turned to leave. Danny didn't blame her. While Kwan was certainly built in high school, now his face had lost much of those immature boyish features to match the rest of his body. He wasn't exactly Danny's type, but he was quite attractive.

"So what do you do again?" Kwan asked, shoving his hands into his pants pocket as he waited for his drink.

"I work at the Boston Police Department as a DNA analyst." At Kwan's confused look, Danny quickly added, "I basically take all the DNA found at a crime scene and run it through tests to help find the perpetrator. It's kinda like doing a puzzle."

Kwan's eyes lit up. "Ohhh, that sounds cool! Nice going getting that job! You know, it's a good thing you're into sciences too. Usually when I talk about this stuff I get blank looks from people."

Danny blushed and averted his gaze from the tall Asian boy to stare at his shoes. "Yeah, it turns out my whole family's good at science. Who knew?"

"Hey, you know, same here! I mean, not to push the stereotype any more, but my whole family is really into math. My dad works in insurance, my mom's an accountant, and now I'm an engineer! I guess these things really do run in the family," Kwan said, grinning.

They called out Kwan's order. He picked it off the counter and, turning back to Danny, said, "Listen, I know you're probably not our biggest fan, but it would be really cool if we all could hang out. As much as I love living here, I do miss everyone in Amity Park."

Danny bit his lip. "I dunno..."

Kwan waved him off and pulled out his cell phone. "If this is about the other day, look I'm sorry. I know it wasn't my place to pry, especially after everything we did to you in high school. I know this isn't an excuse, but we were pretty drunk that night. Clearly not thinking straight. Let us make it up to you!"

Danny sighed, not liking this situation at all. Mostly, he was worried about Jake. Jake was, admittedly, pretty protective over Danny. Before they started living together, Jake would make Danny text him "Goodnight, I love you," every night before he went to bed. One time Danny forgot, his brain too clouded with anxiety about his new lab position to remember the text. Jake had a melt-down and yelled at Danny for what seemed like hours over it. He also made sure to bring it up as much as he could in conversation with Danny for the next two weeks after. While Danny didn't exactly understand why the little text message was so essential to Jake, it was so small he figured he could indulge his boyfriend on this. Everyone had their quirks, right?

These were old high school acquaintances though. Jake would understand, if Danny wanted to hang out with them. He knew Jake really didn't like it if Danny went to hang out with friends, but Danny was sure he could get it by Jake just this one time.

"Okay, sure. Yeah." Danny said.

Kwan grinned. "Cool, what's your number?"

* * *

_From: Unknown Number_

_Hey Danny, this is Kwan! Text me when you're free and we can catch up!_

Danny, despite his anxiety, grinned at the text. Tucker wasn't going to _believe_ him when he told him what just happened. He pocketed his phone and whistled to himself as he made his way back to work.

Who knows, maybe Jake would be okay with this!


	4. Chapter 4

A crash rang through Danny's ear.

Danny flinched, the noise not entirely expected, before returning to his previous composure.

There was a brief period of clatter on the other end of the line. Eventually, the scraping stopped and was replaced by an obnoxious "WHAT?"

"I told you, Tuck," Danny said, plucking a can off of the shelf and putting it in his cart. He continued down the air-conditioned aisle explaining, "They were actually nice to me. No—stop. I'm being serious! By the way, did you  _really_ just drop your phone?"

An indignant voice cut in, "First of all, they are the  _last_ people I would expect to move out of Amity. Remember how obsessed they were about the stupid place? Also, while we're on the topic of remembering shit, remember how they—oh, I don't know— _kicked our asses every day in school?_ "

Danny rolled his eyes, scanning the signs for the bread aisle. Jake would be pleased by this. They've been out of bread for nearly a week after forgetting to restock last grocery trip. He shrugged, forgetting Tucker couldn't see him, before adding in, "People change."

Tucker sighed. "Yeah but it's still a little surreal. Who would have thought, you know? I guess we've all grown up since then."

"Yeah, I guess. They were both drunk the first time I ran into them though. Kwan was sober the second, but he was also always nicer than Dash, if only a little. And you remember how he'd always revert back whenever Dash showed up. So I guess I've never seen them both sober at the same time. There we'd probably see how grown they really are," Danny said, turning into the breads aisle. Now to find the right kind...

"Does that mean you're gonna see them again?" a curious voice asked.

Danny grimaced. "Not sure yet. I was thinking of, but I don't know how Jake would feel."

"Still with Jake then, I take it?"

Danny strained his ear attempting to read Tucker's voice on the line, but failed. Tucker had expressed his mild displeasure in the man in the past, but generally kept himself neutral now. That was, if they even talked about Jake at all. Early on in the relationship, Danny had expressed his frustrations with a few of Jake's "quirks," like the fact that Jake forced Danny to use pet-names on him, how he didn't want Danny to hang out with his friends, and how sexually-demanding he was. Tucker's reaction was less than satisfactory, and Danny's small ranting-session soon turned into a full-fledged argument. Tucker was saying that those were unhealthy and that Danny shouldn't "put up with his insecure bullshit," and Danny argued that Jake was actually a really sweet guy if you got to know him. Now whenever Tucker asked about him, Danny would reply with a quick "Things are going really well!" and the topic would drop immediately.

Putting on a smile even though this was just a phone call, Danny babbled excitedly, "Yeah, things are going great! We had a date-weekend last weekend. It was fun."

"You always have a date-weekend," Tucker deadpanned.

Danny's smile faltered, his eyes widening momentarily in panic. Catching himself quickly, he forced out a giggle and said, "Isn't he the cutest?"

"I guess," Tucker said. "How about that dude from work. Quinn? Hang out with him lately?"

Danny sighed, finally letting his grin drop. "No."

"Are you planning on it?"

"Probably not."

"Why not?"

"Tuck!" Danny frowned, his face flashing red and eyebrows knitting together. "I can't just—"

"Why not?" Tucker repeated smoothly. "Dude, he's straight as an arrow. I know that and I've only met him once."

"Yeah but it doesn't matter," Danny walked down the aisle of the grocery store, bread in the cart. Now all he needed was eggs and he could go home. "You wouldn't get it."

"Why not? Because I'm straight? Danny, if you've forgotten, Alisha's bi and I don't bat an eye when she wants to hang out with someone, no matter their gender. Hell, you used to hang out with Sam all the time when you were dating Valerie, and she didn't care! Your sexuality shouldn't restrict you from being with friends."

Danny remained silent, suddenly focused on attaining the perfect carton of eggs. Tuck didn't get it. He didn't understand what their relationship was like. Just because he and Alisha were so  _goddamn perfect_ for each other didn't mean every relationship was like that. And besides, Alisha had her flaws. Just like everyone else does. Wasn't she struggling with body-image? Maybe not as much now as before, but Danny distinctly remembers some late-night conversations with Tucker about his girlfriend's constant desire to lose weight. Everyone had their  _thing,_ their own  _insecurity._ So what if Jake didn't want Danny to hang out with other guys? Danny could deal. There were plenty of other things he could do instead.

"Whatever dude," Tucker's voice sliced through Danny's raging thoughts. "As long as you're happy. I just think you should maybe text back Kwan and Dash. See if they want to chill or whatever. It might be good for you to take a break for a night."

"Yeah, I might," Danny admitted. "Just to see what they're like now. It's been a while since high school and Kwan was...you're not gonna believe it...he's a total nerd now."

Muffled laughter came through the end of the line. "For real?"

"Yeah! Literally could not stop talking about engineering to me. It was insane."

"Damn, that must have been so weird," Tucker said. "Alright, thanks for filling me in but I godda get back to work before my boss kills me. Talk to you later!"

"Right," Danny replied, mentally slapping himself for forgetting about the time-zone difference. "Sorry for holding you up! See ya!"

Danny hung up his cell, grinning to himself as he made his way to the register. Truthfully, he was still pretty shaken up from yesterday's encounter. How does one react to their high school bully ranting about math for ten minutes? Sam had always told Danny she thought Kwan was a closet-nerd, but Danny would never have guessed it was true. In hindsight, it made sense. A bit. Kwan  _did_ display some dork-like tendencies back in high school. From the way he'd start expressively waving his arms around when presenting a project in front of the class, to Sam's rants about the time he went to poetry-night with her, Danny could look back and put the pieces of the puzzle together. Although, it only made him wonder: if Kwan turned out so much different from who Danny thought he was as a teenager, what was Dash like now?

Was Dash nerdy? Would he have a soft side?

Stepping in the checkout line, Danny smirked to himself. Had he forgotten so soon?  _Of course_ Dash had a secret soft side. Hell, he had freaking  _stuffed animal bears_ in his closet as a teenager. There's no way he was exactly as Danny remembered him to be. Just like how Danny wasn't anything like what  _they_ thought he was.

 _Damn,_ Danny thought as he slid his items onto the register.  _I guess none of us really knew each other despite growing up in the same town._

He internally rolled his eyes at himself. It was so naive of him to believe that just because he had a double-life—although his was quite literal—no one else in the town could have one too. Was anyone who they presented themselves as? Probably not. Not even Sam, who prided herself on being, "The only fucking real person in this god-forsaken city," was  _truly_ herself in school. Even she was a bit more reserved inside the brick walls. They all were different in and out of the school. They were too afraid to let their peers see their true selves so they hid themselves behind lower-resolution personas of their own creation. Sam hid behind the epitome of teen-angst, Tucker hid behind an overconfident ladies-man, and Kwan hid behind a stereotypical jock. As did Dash.

 _What about you?_ A voice whispered from the back of his mind.  _You say you hid behind a weak loser, but isn't that all you are? Aren't you still weak? Afraid? Too complacent to do anything to better your own life?_

_Didn't you submit a long time ago?_

Danny shook his head, brushing aside those thoughts. He couldn't deal with them right now. He was too busy. He didn't have time to play therapist right now.

_Do you ever?_

**_Shut up._ **

* * *

"Jake?" Danny winced as the door creaked open.

"Hey baby," Jake's muffled voice came from inside the apartment. There was shuffling and the couch groaned before a clearer version of Jake came through the air. "What happened, get lost on your way home?"

"Sorry," Danny slid his shoes off and shut the door. He turned around to see the tall, olive skin surrounding deep, brown eyes. "I stopped to get groceries on the way home. Must have taken my time after that."

Jake smiled, warmth spreading through his features. "It  _is_ a great day out. Too bad we had to spend it at work!"

Danny put a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter. "You're right."

"Aww," Jake engulfed him into a hug, his bulky arms all but hiding Danny from the world. Protecting him from his corrosive thoughts. "Don't tease me and cover your smile like that! It's so cute!"

"Jake, stop it," Danny felt his face redden as he buried his grin into his boyfriend's neck. He closed his eyes focused on Jake's cologne, the way his arms steeled themselves around Danny, the way his soft maroon hoodie felt against Danny's skin, the paper bags tight against Danny's fingertips.

"Haha, you love me," Jake unwrapped himself from Danny and took the bags from Danny's loose grip. He guided Danny inside the kitchenette and set the bags on the off-white countertop, peeking inside. "Nice, you got bread! Points to the best boyfriend ever! I keep forgetting to grab some. But now we can make sandwiches for tomorrow's lunch."

Danny merely nodded and turned his face away to hide another incoming blush. How was he supposed to bring up Dash and Kwan if he couldn't get ahold of himself?

"Whoa, baby, something wrong?" Jake paused his ramblings about Danny's grocery haul and peered under Danny's bangs.

Danny blinked, snapping himself out of his thoughts. "Oh no, I'm fine!"

"You sure?" Jake's thick eyebrows scrunched in concern. "You look a little off."

"Sorry," Danny apologized. "It must have been a long day. I'm probably out of it."

Jake's large eyes scanned Danny's face for a second longer. Danny suppressed a squirm. He felt as if he were under a microscope. Eventually the intense eyes dropped back down to the food, leaving all focus off the dark haired boy.

Danny let out a silent breath, pushed himself off of the fridge he didn't know he was leaning against, and got to work on dinner. His fingers were quick and flowed with ease that only years of cooking experience could bring. Jake wasn't one for cooking, although he did make some good breakfast foods, and by now he knew not to try to help with the process. Attempting to help wasn't the same as actually helping, as Danny loved to poke at the taller male. Jake readily agreed after his last attempt of "helping," involving a floor full of sugar and ant problems for weeks after, and was more than happy to stand off to the side and tell Danny about his day.

After dinner the couple sat across from each other and sipped coffee, neither one of them ready to do the dishes yet. Danny shifted in his chair and tapped his mug with a stubby nail. It was a black mug he got from Sam last Christmas/Hanukkah with the molecular structure of coffee in white. Although Sam was far out of her goth phase, black was still by far her favorite color. Apparently, she'd been looking for this type of mug for a few years but hadn't found any ones in black until then. Danny remembered laughing at her antics, because  _of course_ Sam would refuse to buy a simple Holiday gift until she found the perfect one.

"Ok, spit it out," Jake folded his arms on the table. "What's bothering you?"

Danny cursed to himself. Jake knew him too well. "It's really not a big deal."

"Well if it's a big deal then there should be no issue telling me," Jake blinked innocently.

"Okay," Danny huffed, avoiding Jake's stare. "It's just...I ran into one of my old high school friends today."

"Oh?" Jake looked surprised. "I didn't know Sam and Tucker were in town."

"No—wait, that came out wrong," Danny rubbed the back of his neck. "He wasn't exactly my friend."

" _He?"_ Jake's eyebrows rose.

Danny's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. He held his hands up, "No, no, no! Not what you're thinking! I—I wasn't out then." Danny took a deep breath and slouched in his seat, folding his arms against his chest defensively. This...was not going well. This was not going well at all.

"Then what was he to you?"

Danny could feel Jake's glare.

"He...he was...um...he was my...bully."

"Oh."

Danny's eyes shot up to meet Jake's much softer, more sympathetic ones. No, his  _concerned_ eyes. Jake was concerned. "He didn't give you a hard time, did he?"

Danny shook his head. "No...it was much weirder. He was nice."

"Nice?"

"Yeah. I, uh, well I was at Starbucks during my lunch break and I kind of ran into him there. He was telling me about himself, that he was an engineer now. He designs prosthetics. You know, something like that that didn't fit him  _at all._ I mean, it didn't fit who he was when I knew him. I don't know," Danny took another deep breath. "It was weird. The whole thing was weird. Not in a bad way or anything, just weird."

Jake bit his lip and nodded, unsure of how to respond.

Danny took this as a sign to continue, "But he wasn't even my main—the guy who was the biggest asshole to me. The guy who was the biggest dick, his name was Dash. He was the captain of the football team, the quarterback, had the mathletes do his homework, that kind of guy. He supposedly is this dude's  _roommate._ And apparently, according to the first guy, he's a super nice person now too. Like, they were the two biggest assholes in school. And now apparently they're actual people."

"I mean, people change," Jake's concerned expression never left his face.

Danny ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah, you're right."

Guarded relief melted onto Jake's features. "Everyone changes. Even you! You used to be a nobody, right? Now look at you, you have me!"

A weak smile appeared on Danny's face, "You're so full of it."

Jake rolled his eyes, "You love me, admit it. Anyways, I don't see how this is a big deal. Of course it's a big deal to you, but you shouldn't have to hide this stuff from me, Danny. We're a team. Teams need to work together in order to function. You need to tell me this stuff."

"You're right," Danny said. "I should trust you more."

"Exactly."

"Ok," Danny's eyes glazed over. His stomach clenched. He needed to trust Jake. Everything would be okay. "He invited me over."

Silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty folks! We're officially caught up to the chapters I've already published on FF. This means the updates will be a bit more sporadic because I'm a slowww ass writer. But I hope you've enjoyed the fast updates so far.
> 
> Tbh this is why my future fics are being totally written in advanced. I love regular updates but I'm so bad at them.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty short, so my apologies about that, but it's been TOO LONG since I've updated so I just needed to post this.

Jake’s eyes stared blankly at wooden table. His face was hard yet unreadable. Not a single cheek muscle twitched as he mulled over Danny’s intense confession. His visage was mirrored by the silence of their kitchenette. It was thick, palpable, yet unreadable. Not even the faint, uneven ringing from their TV was around to soften the tense atmosphere.

And it was all Danny’s fault.

His stomach churned as he desperately tried to backtrack. “Jake—Baby, they’re just my old highschool friends! Not even friends, acquaintances! And they’re both straighter than...uh—straighter than anything I’ve ever seen. So, in a way, it’s just like when I would hang out with Tucker and Sam—”

“Danny, stop.” his quiet voice immediately stamped out Danny’s incoherent mumbling.

The small black haired man bit his tongue and shrank down in his chair. He felt a bead of sweat drip down his neck and disappear under the collar of his work shirt. He opened his mouth to once again try and save his skin. “I, I’m sorry.”

“I—no, don’t apologize—you haven’t done anything  _ wrong  _ necessarily,” Jake started in a level tone. “It’s just...do you really think this is a good idea?”

Danny nearly forgot to breathe. What...where was this level headedness coming from? Danny expected Jake to be furious. “I mean, I guess?”

Jake’s dark, Italian eyes flickered up to meet Danny’s blue ones. His soft lips curled up into a small smile. “I just don’t want you to get hurt is all.”

Danny felt something cold stir inside of him. He reflexively crossed his arms and retorted, “I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”

“No, no!” Hands shot up from under the table in surrender. “I never meant to insinuate that!”

The cold reached its stubby limbs further in his chest. “Then  _ what,  _ Jake? I don’t get why you’re having so much trouble with me hanging out with my friends.”

“Come on, you don’t even like them!”

“What if I do?” Danny’s eyes narrowed at the man seated before him.

A streak of panic flickered in Jake’s eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“I don’t know. It shouldn’t matter.”

“Danny stop!” Jake said with shaky breath. A large, trembling hand ran across the bridge of Jake’s olive face and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Guilt replaced the cold in Danny’s chest. 

“I don’t get why you’re doing this to me,” Jake’s forced through his teeth. 

Danny’s hands gripped the edge of the table. The only sound running through his head was Jake’s labored breaths as he struggled to control himself.

“Why do you have to do this? You know I always had problems with my dad. It was mostly just me and my mom growing up. My dad was around when I was really young but for as long as I can remember he was never there. Sometimes he would come back for a day or two but...in the end he always left. He  _ always  _ left. I never knew where he would go. I never knew when he would be coming back. He would just leave. And in the end he left for good.”

“I’m not your dad,” Danny said, surprising himself. “I would never do that.”

“But how am I supposed to know that, Danny?” Watery brown eyes greeted the steady blue ones. “My dad would come and he would pretend like everything was okay. He would pretend like nothing was wrong! He would come and treat me like he was the perfect dad. He would play with my heart until he would leave. Sometimes he would run out for groceries and wouldn’t come back...and other times I would wake up and he would just be gone.”

“I’m  _ not  _ your dad,” Danny reinforced. “I don’t play with your heart like that.”

“Then what is this?” Jake asked, letting a tear slip out of his eyes as he gestured around the dimly lit room. “What is this? You’re sitting here, you’re with me, you cooked me food and got me goddamn bread for my sandwich in the morning and—and everything’s perfect! Everything’s fucking perfect—”

“Because I’m your boyfriend and I—”  
“—But then you just, out of the blue might I add, announce that you plan to run off with these...these random...these random _boys_! These random _boys_ that I’ve never met before? That you grew up with?”

“—Jake, goddamnit, _I_ _love you_ —”

“—And these fucking  _ boys  _ also were the same ones that hurt you? You, the boy that I love? The one person I’ve opened myself up to? The same guy I  _ thought  _ would never let me down?”

“I’M SORRY!” Danny stood up, knocking over his flimsy wooden chair in the process. It crashed on the old wood of their apartment floor, the sound filling the room. Danny sniffed, and was vaguely aware that his own tears had started spilling onto his cheeks, before he said, “Jake, I love you.  _ You.  _ You and only you. I’m sorry, okay? I never wanted you to feel like I was being your dad again. I never wanted that. I’m sorry.”

“Danny, no…”

“No, Jake, you’re right. It was wrong of me to bring this up, okay? I’m sorry.”

They fell into a strained silence with only the sound of Danny’s sniffing reverberating off the old wooden walls. A beat passed before Jake said, “Don’t see them.”

“W-what?” Danny looked up in surprise.

“For me. Don’t text them back.” Jake said, his voice steady again.

Danny hesitated, doubt creeping in the corners of his mind, before relenting with, “If it really means this much to you, I won’t go hang out with Dash and Kwan.”

Jake slowly rose out of his chair and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. His loving, obedient boyfriend. “Thank you, Danny. I’m sorry you have to deal with me and my past. You’re the best.”

Shadows casted through Danny's eyes as he let his body get sucked into Jake's arms.  _Compromise,_ he told himself.  _This is a compromise._

_Right?_


End file.
